Saturday, January 28, 2006

CNY 2006 Balik Kampung Do

I've managed to get the dial-up connection up after all. Yay! The speed is teh slow, anyway it's better than nothing at all.

The journey back today (technically should be yesterday, anyway...) was pretty smooth. The traffic wasn't as bad as I thought. Err... at least for the journey from KL to Gua Musang.

We stopped in Bentong for quick lunch, and the rest of the passengers (my brother and two cousins) were dozing off for most part of the journey. Which I don't really mind and care.

I told myself to not speed over limit when I first started the journey, there might be speed traps along the way. I managed to hold fast to that just until Raub, which partly helps by the those "slow" drivers that I have to trail behind.

After Raub, I found that if I keep driving at that snail pace I will end up dozing off while driving. I need something to simulate and keep my brain active. Speeding works most of the time. And today I found yet another new trick. Trying to peel the skin off mandarin orange with one hand and at the same time trying to concentrate on the road seems to help me simulate my mind and keep it awake! (please don't try this stunt at home, I won't be responsible if anything happen to you.)

By the time we arrived in Gua Musang, I started to get all drowsy again. Stop to take a leaks, and since there is no more mandarin oranges left for me to simulate my brain, I asked my brother to take over the driving baton. It's my turn to doze off, yay! And sleep I do, most part of the journey. I only come into full consciousness when we were at Kuala Krai. It was almost 7pm by the time we arrived at my uncle place. Waited for a while for the dinner to be ready. And the dinner was the gud!!! Chicken tomyam, super hoot... yeah, everyone was sweating mad while having dinner. Kerabu chicken, equally hoot... and roast duck too. Yeah... ulam jering and petai with budu too!!! very long haven't had jering.

Actually the reason I was so drowsy was because I slept late the night before. Only hit the sack around 4 am, went out drinking with my boss and other manager. Woke up by my brother around 10 am, and ya... just start packing my stuff then and there. Cloths, took few bottles of liquor, and struck by a brief panics when I couldn't find my goggle and snorkel. Yeay, we are going to Perhentian Island on the second day of CNY and be back on the 4th day. 32 of us, one big family. Remember lent it to my cousin few months ago. Called him, and he told me he had returned in with another bag that he borrowed from me. True enough, found them in the bag. So my plan to dive with him back on track, and again only the last minute did I remember I left one more thing out. My wet suit, luckily remember. It's been like almost two years since I last did my dive. Technically, this is still in monsoon season. Pray that weather will be good.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Dragon Horse Sperm God

To all visitor to this site, Happy Spring Festival!!! Wish everyone will have good health, peace of mind, and properous Dog year! For those who are driving, especially for long journey, have a safe and enjoyable journey to and from destination.

I'll will be driving back to hometown in a short while. Not sure if I'll still have access and update this blog while I am back there. Hopefully the at the very least I will manage to get a dial-up connection, otherwise it will be a one week hiatus.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Mount K 2005

This is a series of photos that I snapped during the Mount Kinabalu trip that I made with my buddy August last year, before the conception of this blog.

Just recap and serve as a good reminder for me to get prepare well prepared for second Mount K trip this coming April, and probably third ones in Jun/July.

No. I am not really an avid climber or anything. My buddy who I tagged along during this first trip enjoyed the trip terriblely that he persuaded my boss and few more colleagues to go for this coming April trip, and by default I have to tag along, again!

Well, not that I didn't enjoy this trip. I did, despite the huge amount of suffering that I had gone through. Anyway I deserved it, because I didn't get myself well prepared. In fact the preparation that I had before this first trip was as good as no preparation at all. Lesson learned! Huh... well, we'll see. *Tell self must get prepare, must get prepare!*

Okie enough of the craps. Ops! Sorry, just a second.. The third trip in coming Jun/Jul, again going with this same buddy and his buddy (his was the organizer for this first trip.) They wanted me to join them again, oh boy! They promised me there will be couples of hot chick will go along. Before you guys/gals started to think that I go just because of the hot chicks, let me categorically say that it's not like what you think. Don't believe me? Fine :P Okie, I'll just let the photo do most of the talking from now on. Enjoy!

The journey begin, greeted by Mr. Squirrel :-)

Walking in the cloud

Somewhere in between I tasted the bestest apple EVAR in my life. Carried a couple of apples, few chocolate bars and few packets of power gel. Power gel is my friend.

The pic with the wooden ladder is the only steep small stretch before reaching Laban Rata. Some rock wall to climb too. The peak suddenly sprang into view at the end of the little climb.

Last check point before reaching Laban Rata. If my memory served me right, this is where I eat the second of the bestest apple. From here on, basically dragging my sorry arse and leg up the trails.

After almost 7 hours of suffering, finally reached Laban Rata. Sunset, taken from the balcony of the resthouse's restaurant.

After a chilled-to-the-bone-marrow of 3-4 hours sleep sleepless, continue journey up to the peak. Started the walk around 2am. Sunrise at the peak. I was too slow and late to get a better sunrise pic. Should do better this coming April!

The pics with the sharp pointed tip looks familiar eh? Seen it somewhere before? Yeah, it's on the back of our 1RM notes. Yeah, that's the peak I had got to climb and I was the last person in that batch to reach there. The sharp pointed tip taken from the highest peak.

On the way down from the peak, shit! Never realized the rock we climbed during the dusk is so damn steep. Mission accomplished! Yay!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

It's A Fcuk Up World

It's a fcuk up world we are livin' in
with fcuk up dream
fcukin' mistaken for reality
hoping for instant gratification
dreamin' of instant reward
in a zillion fcuken ways

It's a fark up world we are livin' in
with a fark up roneriness
n' farkin' surreal,
farking blardy rotten
cliggin' to hope
in a zillion farken ways

It's a fuck up world we are livin' in
fucking pilgrimages
to be fucken take
with all its blardy fucking intents
be it
fcuk, farken or fucked!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Rules Are Made to be Broken... Intelligently

I stopped by the Gergasi on my way back from office during the weekend. I was not in particular good mood. In fact for the last whole week until now, I having been kind of low on the mood. Feels like my life force is at the whole time low. Keep playing those soppy songs from Chyichin (齐秦), Chicago and A-Mei (only soppy songs, skipped the upbeat ones) over my car stereo definitely did do me any good. These few days, I have been driving at 60 km/h, which is very unbecoming of me. But I just can't help it. Bleh... 'nuufff said 'bout that.

Now, back to the meat of the story at the Gergasi car park. Normally I would just look for the outdoor car park, which much more easier to get a empty lot. Yet, it was raining mad that day, so I got no choice but to park in the indoor one. I was pretty lucky to have found a parking lot in less than 2 minutes. Main objective was to buy my lunch, and it was almost 4 pm. My blood sugar level must be pretty low at time, which might explain my low mood. Quickly tapau the KFC's dinner set, and rush back to my car to head home.

That particular moment, when I was getting out from my lot there were plenty of cars queueing to get my lot. They saw me got into the car, so naturally the one nearest to my car will give signal and wait. Fair enough and, being a considerate person that I am, I quickly get into the car and tried to get out from my lot. The moment my car was halfway out from the lot, suddenly there was this one Mouse Deer car came from the opposite direction.

WTF!!! That is a one way lane, and she was heading the wrong way. There were plenty of cars queueing up from the opposite direction, because they had to wait for the car to get into my lot. Okie... again because I am a considerate gentleman (whoring myself again *grin*) and knowing pretty well the fairer sex driver normally become panicky easily in the sistuation like that, I stopped for a little while more.

5 seconds passed... 10 seconds passed... I was still waiting for her to reverse her SLK...

20 seconds passed!!!

"Auntie, I am not in good mood okie. Don't test my patient can or not?"

She can't possibly expected me to reverse my car back into the parking lot, so that she could make her exit in the fucking wrong direction, what more with so many cars waiting for me to get out, could she? Darn!!! She still refused to budge, not a even single inch. That's it!!! That was fucking too much!!! I flashed my light (see, I was still trying to be polite - never use my car horn okie) twice. Then only reluctantly the auntie unwillingly reverse her car a little bit so that I can get out from the parking lot.

After I moved out, that bimbo auntie still want to have it her way. She headed straight in the opposite direction again the one way traffic. What the fuck was that? Don't you know how to read the sign on the floor? The arrow is pointing to the opposite direction okie! Lesen Terbang kar? Somemore I don't think your granddad own that Gergasi okie! Plenty of people wasting their time and burning away the farking expensive petrol just because of you don't farking know how to read sign and don't farking know how or when to break the rule properly.

With so many dumb and inconsiderate drivers like this on the road, it's a little wonder why the traffic in this whole Kelang Valley is so damn fucks up. Come on lar, even if you want to break the rules please farking use your brain can arnot?

I wholeheartedly agree with the saying that goes like "Rules are made to be broken..." And if you are too dumb to figure it out, let me say it point blank. Rules are made to be broken... Intelligently. Definitely whoever that came out with that saying doesn't have that auntie's way of breaking-the-rule in mind when she/he first thought of that smartass words, does she/he?

While I am at it, let me ask you this question. Have you ever drive in the wee hour of the morning, when and where there are more mosquito than car on that particular stretch of road? And when you come to a junction with a traffic light with the red light spot on, what would you do? Freaking chicken pussy shit that I am, I will not give my answer and risking getting a sommon by admitting to a traffic offense.

But let me share with you my thought on this (this is just a thought okie, it doesn't mean I have to do all the thing that I am capable of thinking, do I?) In the first place, why did traffic light come into being? It's sole main purpose function is to facilitate the smooth flowing of the traffic at a particular junction, isn't it? Of course sometime it still malfunction, either because it's a brainless shit robot or 'cause some freaking drunken brainless shit driver mistaken it for a particular disco lights that he saw in the pub/disco he had just left and head straight into it.

Yet generally, it's will carry out it's function pretty well. That is when the traffic is normal or heavy. Yet at a freaking wee hours of the morning, do you think it will serve it's purpose well by stopping you from moving even thought there is no other car around in whichever direction? Do you think you want to stop there waiting for it to turn green just because you are a law abiding citizen? or rather because you are chicken shit like me who afraid of getting a summon? Or you would go with the spirit of the rule, which in the first place suppose to make the traffic smooth. And being the only animated object at that particular spot, it's fair and obvious enough to say that your car the traffic and the traffic is your car. Thus by the spirit of the rule, you may zoom past the particular spot in order to make the traffic smooth.

God forbid and yet if you really got a summon at that particular unheavenly hour in the morning in an attempt to stick to the spirit of the rule rather than follow the rules by the book and because a particular someone in his desperate attempt to hit his particular qouta and decided to wait silly at that particular junction. Do you think he will buy the logic of the spirit of the rule? or better still if you have the mean to challenge it in the court, do you think who will prevail?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Burning Out, Almost.

I have finally done all urgent tasks that I am supposed to do. Finnish the last task today yesterday noon. It's not fun to have to go back to office on Saturday. I was all alone in the office, which actually was pretty good. I could get my task done without any interruption from others.

The software was finnally successfully installed on the PDA for our marketing team to be brought to Shanghai for the exhibition next week. They are flying off on Sunday, that's why I gotta finnish it by Saturday. Why I didn't do it earlier? Well, one thing is because I was busy on the troubleshooting. The most important thing is the software development have been outsourced, and was only sent to me on late afternoon Friday. The worst thing is the software wasn't work. I feed back to them, and after some troubleshooting, another troubleshoot again *sigh*, I fed back the problem to them. By almost 11 pm, after some failed attempt with few fixes, I gave up and went out drinking with my colleagues.

This has gotta to be among one of the longest weeks month I have ever gone through. Ya, exactly one month since the Doraemon production system is being migrated to our latest software. I have finally manage to catch the culprits that causes the instability in the system on Thursday night.

If it is not because of my stupidity and cocky-ness, I could have found the problem earlier. The support manager has earlier ask me to check the possibility of bug in our program, but I told him I don't think so because I gone through all the log file, and I should have seen some error there if there is a database connection leaks. I've seen that error on the staging system, so my logic is if there is to be a connection leak problem in the production systems, I should be able to see the same error in the log file of the production system. Little did I know; and being over confident cocky arse hole that I am, fail to check the database connection configuration on the production system and notice that it is different from the one in the staging system, which prevent the error from being log into the log file.

It would be very convinient for me to blame this on other people, but I think in the end it just doesn't reflex good on me either. I am supposed to take full responsibilities for whatever damage that has been done. Afterall it's my own fault too. I have asked one of our developer to check the code and find if there is any connection leaks and he said no more. I even ask him to do that at least twice, and on both occasion he told me there is no connection leak anymore. Because of my laziness, I just trusted him and didn't audit the codes myself. The price of my laziness? One month of restless investigation and troubleshooting, and of course our reputation with the customer is at stake, which added to my stress. In fact I was almost completely burn out this week from this problem.

Yet, not all is lost, I have a better understanding of the system now. Have a better and more understanding on low level TCP stack inner working. In fact, the customer complained about a newly observed intermitten problem with the system and this was brought to my attention by the support manager on Friday noon. Based on what I have observed on the system throughout this one whole month, I can immediately point to him where to start investigation and by Friday late afternoon we have managed to identify the pattern of the problem, and I think we have found a solution for it. But only next week I will apply the solution because I want to monitor the system for the database connection leak over the weekend. If there is no problem by this Monday morning, I am pretty confident that there will be no more stability problem with the system.

I should feel better now, but the problem is I have start to feel better yet. Problem it's the stress and burning out. Thanks goodness that I manage to finally found the culprits, otherwise I am almost certain I will be completely knocked out next week, what more with the CNY around the corner. I don't want this problem to persist till then. Being stubborn is not a bad thing after all. If not because of my stubborness, I would have give up long ago.

My mood is still pretty low, and I think I owe myself a good rest. Maybe the reality have not sink in just yet. If it is not because CNY is around the corner, I might even give myself a few day off and just take a good rest. I will have catch up on issues on the rest of other project that is being undertook by the rest of my team members, and aside from that I will just lepak in office, with all the festive mood building up, it will be hard not too. Yay!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Despite all the holidays these few weeks, I am as tired as ever. Please be warned, this is just another rant. What not? I have been bogged down by the problem at the Doraemon's production system that I deployed last month. The system is still as unstable as ever.

Day in day out, I monitor all the system parameter and performance data like first time dad take care of a first born. On certain days I even woke up in the dead silent of the night morning to check it's health. Despite all the changes and fine tuning that I have done, it only improved a tiny bit. Still not enough to take away all the cloud over my head and the weight on my shoulder.

The signs that I am throughly stressed and burned out has manifest itself today. Though I am not as reclusive as a particular day last week, all my mind is still fully put into this baby. That particular day last week, I was really in a very reclusive mood. I just sit at my desk and was blinking and staring squarely at the numbers of the performance figure and system health without fcuk care about the other going-on in the office.

Anybody who came over to ask me anything and break my concentration got one standard curtersy curtersy-less word answer accompany by a nasty stare that is loud enough to tell them Please fcuking leave me alone. I didn't get that much interruption that day, which I concluded as I a successful strategy to get my message over loud and clear. At least something work still. Yay!!

Not all are grey and blurry today though. The Shanghai system, suddenly just work! Yes, you read me correct. It just work, the last test that I done with another colleague was last friday and it didn't work. I was trying to put in some trace and debug information to help the partner identify the problem faster after lunch. That was when I finally realise the system must be ready by end of this week, because exhibition (for which the system will be showcased) is next week. While doing the testing to capture the information, suddenly the system spring alive. I was like I can't believe this. Almost slap myself silly to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Didn't a few more test till I finally accept that the system did really work.

I checked with the remote partner if he did any changes over at his side, his response is negative. He didn't do any modification. How the system suddenly work? I don't know. Can this be consider miracle? I don't know. I am not romantic enough to believe admit it so, at least not in this case where there is just too much at stack. If it can spring to live without a logical explaination, I afraid it might goes out on me during the demo event next week. Though I won't be attending the event, I would rather not risk getting screwed by the marketing team if the system suddenly gone caput during their demonstration.

Enough of the digressions. Back to the signs that I am burn out. On my way back home just now, I was planning to take alternative route where I can stop by the mamak stall to tapau mutton curry for dinner. Yet I end up home, without the mutton curry and had to prepare a burger myself for dinner. I wasn't paying attention while driving and end up in the usual route that I normally take, and wasn't even realising it until I was way way past the point where I not suppose to turn into my usual route. I wasn't even remember taking the turn and took the usual route until three to five minutes afterward, when I finally realise I was suppose to take another route to buy dinner. That period of time, I was driving like the car was being auto pilot. Without any intervention of my concious mind.

The next sign manifest when I reached home, and took off my shirt. I remember clearly when I went down the stair to get to my car in the car park two floors down that forgot to take the amulet with me. I even remember touching around my neck with my hand. It's the Buddha amulet made from elephant tusk that I normally wear when I got out of my house. Yet when I took off my shirt, there it was dangling over my chest with necklace around my neck. Okie, maybe I was blur this morning. I just don't know anymore. Again, this may be interpreted as second miracles. Which might explain why I wasn't even aware when I didn't take the intetended route. Who know what await me there.

I don't really consider myself as religious. Despite being the logical and practical guy that I am, I too don't believe science can explain everything. There are things that still couldn't be explain by mere logical thinking and scietific methods.

When I just started work fresh out of univ, I travelled a long distance to work from my rented place on my kapcai. One hour travel from my rented place to workplace, and another hour to travel back afterwork. The only drawback is when it rains, especially in the morning. Which luckily wasn't that many, if my memory doesn't fail me. I don't mind if it rain on the way back. I couldn't care less too, just wade through it and get a good bath once I reached home.

There was one day when it rain pour cat and dog, on my way back from work. The stretch along the KL-Seremban Plus highway. Being the stupid dumb ass driver that I was (still am), I don't slow down even in the rain. Visibilities wasn't that good, maybe around 10-15 meters. Yet when I was approaching the spot where there is a bridge across the highway, spontaneously I feel like there is someone telling me to slow down. I did just that. Slowing down, and just in time to avoid hitting into a bunch of bikers who took shelter under the underpass. At least 20 of them, overflowing and occupying the one whole left lane. I just can't imagine how would it be like if I didn't slow down in time. At the speed of at least 90 km/h, I dare not imagine what would have happen.

I was wearing a Luang Phor Thuad amulet given by my dad (different from the one I was wearing today, or did I? ;-)) at that particular time. The amulet is at least 30-40 year-old or may be longer, ya must be. Because if I remember correctly, my dad told us it was given to him by a monk when he was still a bachelor. This amulet is well known for it's protection properties over travel related accident and calamities.

In magical lands, magic can happen. But only if we believe. ~ Rupert
Saving Fish From Drowing, Amy Tan

Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Culture of Blame

Halfway through my practice, a dad with a kid came up and picked the tee box next to mine. We were on the upper deck. I guess the kid is about 5-6 year-old. Took one his dad club and hit away at the balls on the tee box next to his dad.

After a few attempts, the furthest the kiddo can managed was just a few feet away. The kiddo keep talking his dad who doesn't seems to give much response, not verbally at least. He was trying hard to concentrate on his own swings.

Kiddo: Paa... you hit quite far away.
Dad: Mmm....

Kiddo: Paa... since how old did you start to pick-up golf? you are good. You hit so far...
Dad: *mumble something, and barely audible (to me at least)*....

Kiddo: Paa... how come all the balls that you gave me are so heavy? Your balls are so light, and go so far...

Me: *rolls eyes*

Kids nowadays seems to be so intelligent. I don't think I can utter smart things like that when I was at that age. Maybe I was (and still am) just plain stupid.

It may sounds harmless, yet it really get me thinking. How does this words come out from the mouth of a small kid like that? Isn't a kid suppose to be innocent and honest? From where did he learn to blame it on the balls instead of his own inabilities to hit the ball?

If he picks that attitude up from his surrounding, and if I may use this as a yardstick, I think this culture of blame has certainly reached a chronic level in our society.

Just take a good look at issues on the national level. What is the first reaction to the issues that arose and being reported in the mass media (they tend to close one eye on those that not being reported, what the public does not know causes no harm), the first reaction was to find a scapegoat.

Take a look at the Fiasco of the Ear Squatting, fingers are being pointed every else but the real meat of the issue.

Not just in public service, mind you. My nature of work sometime requires me to interact and work with other external parties. When things got fucked up, it's a common things rather than exception, that all parties are more interested in playing finger pointing games instead of working objectively to resolve the root cause of the problem. I can't help but feel so hapless when caught in a situation like that.

Find someone to blame, anyone at all as long as it's not oneself. This has already been part of our culture, from the highest level till the lowest; even a small kid know how to do that. The worst thing is, this tactic is being used abused over and over again because everyone can always get away with it.

Could it be that this blaming tactic is the path-of-the-least-resistance, and being so made it the most favourite option in reaction to any issues that arise?

When are we going to learn, or rather unlearn this culture of blame?

Friday, January 06, 2006

Not a Good Week

This is not exactly a good week to start a year 2006 with. First day of supposingly working day, I was down with diarrhea and slight fever. That day, I was lying on the couch watching TV for most part of the day. And of course with the bout of drifting in and out of dreamland. Not exactly a good day, physical and emotional aspect too. I don't even bother to pick the call from my office and not even from my boss, and only call him back after two hours. Hahaa...

On second day, still not feeling too well but gotta drag my sorry arses to office because I have promised the service manager to attend a meeting with a customer. Even until today, my stomach is still pouring down like the rain that has been pouring over Klang Valley today.

Not get much done this week too. The problem with the Doraemon production system is still persist and as stubborn as ever. Ever since after X'mas until today, most of the after working hours I spend working on troubleshooting the problem. Mmm... let see who is more persistence stubborn, the problem or me. I need to get fix before this comming CNY. I don't want to have to worry about it during the festive season, and of course not just me. Not for my fellow colleagues too.

The demo system in Shanghai too, still wasn't up yet and time is catching up.


Snap the picture of KL city skyline this morning from my car. Was somewhere near Jln Ipoh on the way to meet the service manager to go to a business partner office for a meeting.

Seems like this week has just been wasting away attending meetings, not to mentioned the time spend navigating through the hussle-bustler of KL traffic. Like today, I clocked not less than 1/3 of my working hours on the move.

The venue of the meeting was in Wangsa Maju, and I am not familiar with this area. And the funny thing (how else can I describe it without sounding like an insult) is, the Service Manager gonna lead the way this time around.

Ya, the service manager who is famous infamous for the number of times he got lost all. I have not choice. Anyway I had braced for the worst. True enough, we turned into the wrong way just after leaving his place. His was driving his car, and I followed from behind. Anyway, by Malaysian standard we wasn't that late when we finally arrived at the partner office.

After the meeting, we had decided to have lunch before head back to office. For unknown reason, I was exceptionally hungry and it wasn't even noon yet (almost noon though). He suggest we head to a restaurant that serves roast goose. He told me he know how to get there, but don't know how to explain how to get there. So again, I will have to follow him.

Again we turn into wrong way, but this time around not because I follow him. On the way to place, because of the nature of KL traffic we got seperated. Again he turn into the wrong way. I only know roughly the area where the restaurant is, but exactly location. So while I was waiting for him to turn back, I decided to explore around the area and in the process manage to make a turn that get myself stuck in extremely slow flow of traffic.

By the time both of us arrive at the restaurant, it already almost 2 pm. Can you imagine that? I hate to think about how it will be like to be driving to and from office in a couple of months from now, when our office has been relocated into the city. Ya, unfortunately we will need to be relocated into our parent company premise in a couple of months. Better get my bike ready.

The roasted goose was teh good! Two of us, finnish half goose. I told him I am not gonna have dinner anymore tonite after the power lunch. Unfortunately, I was hungry again when I reached home just now. So.... I lied, so... bleh.