Saturday, July 12, 2008

What Am I To You?

I was on the way on home after dropping a dear one off at her parent's home, and halfway through received a message that make me feels like on top of the world. Yup, I am that easily contented (most of the times). Yay!!! :D

Flipping through all the available CD's to play on my just recently replaced car stereo. It occured to me that most of the songs on the CDs and in the USB pen drives in my car were of the type which you listen with the volume turn up to the max and sing along to vent up your pent-up dismay with you own depressed state of life, imaginary or otherwise.

They just can't do it. The closest I came to was the slow and sensual tunes from Norah Jones' Feels Like Home album. Despite the fact of which only just now I discovered; after reading through the lyrics of all the songs, that some of the songs' lyrics are pretty "sad" which was rendered with bubbly (or so I thought at that moment) tunes.

Yay!!! :D :D :D



What Am I to You (Bonus) - Norah Jones



What Am I To You


What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Void

You can fill a glass with water to suppress it's emptiness, but you can never remove the emptiness from the glass. Remove the water, either by pouring out the water or just let the water vaporize, and the emptiness is there to greet you. When the glass is smashed to pieces, will the emptiness of the glass vanishes together with the glass? Or the emptiness of glass just merge back to the universal emptiness in which the glass originally fills.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Can I Strike That Big Ass Jackpot Already?

Why can now not be the bestest time to fall sick?

'D gotta whole day farking important big ass clarification meeting with customer tomorrow.

'D gotta prepare a simple technical diagram for tomorrow meeting, yet nasty virus is so fucking up my brain and it's like so cloudy.... I am floating... smoky... eh was that an eagle just fly pass me just now? or was it a flying fish? bleh...

'D gotta fly to Islamabad again the day after tomorrow for another clarification meeting. I am like gonna beginning to hate flying.

Can the timing be any better than this? Should I just go and buy a lottery now already? How much has the that big ass Mega TOTO 6/52 prize accumulated already?
For the farker who blardy honked me like you are rushing to go home to shit out that bloody puss filled watery shit of yours from that Grade IV Prolapsed hemorrhoids anus of yours at the NPE Touch'NGo tol both just now I have this to say.

Sorry, I thought being sort of like under the weather from the sore throat and having my brain generously occupied and used as recreational pool for the virus to have fun, gave me the right to not have a steady mind and hand to flash my Touch 'N Go card onto the reader. I never thought there can be anyone who could suffer more than me and so co-incidently have to be in the same lane as me and not to have the good luck to be tailing behind me. I know in that fucking wonderful woeful condition, you wouldn't be interested to know that it wasn't my fault that the card reader responded slower and less urgent than that bloody shit of you which had and will always be rushing to come out, I thought I should just like to let you know.

Also sorry for, in that state of mind, it took me too long to decide if I should show my great remorse to you with my awesome Universal Middle Finger sign of regret, that in the end I decided not to.

Last but not least, may you go down the history as the first person to finally gave the medical community reason solid enough without a reasonable doubt that Grade IX Prolapsed hemorrhoids does exist, and awesomely the be the only human to achieve that throughout this humankind entire existence. Godspeed!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Humour

A dear friend sometime ago asked me to update this blog more frequently, as she sometimes drop by here for a dose of inspiration entertainment. Other's misfortune can sometime most of the time be a good source of humour. As of writing this, yours truly is having stomach discomfort from stuffing moi ugly face with 2 days worth of matters that will eventually turn into powderful fertilizer. Me eat plenty when me depressed, bleh. That's a humour for you, wherever you are.

Probably this is pay back time for having too much fun pranking one of our gulliable drinking mate for the past few weeks or was it months. Karma can be a bitch sometimes.

Leaving the bag in the car boot is safe!

Guess what's that? Yeah, that's one of our pranks on this unfortunate friend. We borrowed some dice shakers (dunno what the correct term, bleh) from the pub and stuffed it into our dear friend notebook bag. This particular night, we decide to leave our notebooks in our boss car boot. Our dear friend thought it he can avoid being prank by leaving the bag in the car. When he took his bio break heading to the gents, we slipped out of the pub and carry out our harmless prank.

That was not the first time, mind you. He has been the target of our prank for like countless times. Usually we head direct to the watering hole right after work, and most of us would carry the notebook with us, and make it a point to not leave it in the car. In the pub/bar we would normally put the bag under the bar table. Wherever his was not paying attention or went to the gents, we would "borrow" a thing or two and stuffed them into his notebook bag.

We can't understand why he is so pissed to the extent that one time he use genitalia to scold us in a sms message when he discovered one of our prank where we smuggled few dices, one beer glass and a tidbits basket into his bag when he went to the gents. What tickle us even more was, that particular night, he put his notebook bag on the bar stool when he can always kept an eyes on his bag. He was so alert that night that I had to resort to asking him to "teman" me to the gent which fortunately he complied, and leave the other friend to carry out the act. As usual, the more pissed he become the more hilarious we find it to be. This is the sort of fun we have on his expense *evil grin*.

He is a nice chap, hardly utter a single vulgar word when scolding us. The most threatening line from him went something like "I will remember you!" or when asked what would he do if we will not comply to his request, he would threatens us with "if you don't, then I will kiss you!" *with threatening tone*.

It was fun carrying out this harmless prank, but the best part was yet to come. The best part is the after-shock the next day or days, whenever he finally notices the foreign objects in his bag. Not just that, like this particular prank, he was to have a meeting with our bisness partner at their place the day after. We can't stop laughing when he told us during that meeting, he discovered the dice shakers in his bag and not wanting to invite funny expression and question from the fellows partner in the meeting, he ended up taking note on the old style notepad. LOL.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Should I laugh or cry?

Initially I has decided to not to put up this post which I already done halfway through before leaving office just now. What make me just change my mind? I still think it's darn annoying, but now I think it's annoying and amusing that today, 3 persons really think I am very *ehem* BlarDy Smart!

--- 0o0 ---

This morning, while I was happily lepaking and surfing p0rn doing my work in my small cubicle, in come a ym message from one of the project managers,

PM: hi straymana
PM: check with u ..
Straymana: yes?
PM: are we able to embed some options but disable it ?
Straymana: Err... what is the options you are talking about?

I know I'm *ehem* smart (another inch of skin just grow on my face), but smart is one thing, the ability to read other mind has got nothing to do with smart, yes? The last I check, the ability to read other ppl mind falls under ESP or sixth-sense, nothing to do with smart.

Throw me a question out of the blue, without the cutesy to furnish me with some background info to put me in perspective. How am I not pissed? Is it so blardy damn hard to at least give me some background info before you pop me with the bonanza question?

Okie... so, as usual I have to interrogate her to understand the whole background around the question she threw. So, after the interrogation, I got the context. Yet what followed make me pissed for the second time this morning, but that's another story and I'll just leave it as it is.

--- 0o0 ---

When I clouds dispersed away, and the birdies start to chirping away with sweet melody... Then out of the blue came another bonanza question in my ym.

Mr. 200 : ask u ... for (customer xxx)
Mr. 200: if i vpn in and enter the url http://xx.xx.xx.xx:8080/blablabla.action from IE, should i get a response?

WTF? There are more than 1 application we deployed for customer xxx ok! Can you at least tell me which particular application does this question relates to?

--- 0o0 ---

Then just now... where it's start to turning into something amusing... also out of the blue...

Ms. Amusing: do u face this pbm b4?
Ms. Amusing: when open it..it like hang..need to take some time like 1 min, then onli got feedback :D
Straymana: open what?
Ms. Amusing: open my IE la

Now, I don't know if I should laugh or cry anymore... these people really think I am super duper smart that I can read their mind. Muuuaaahahahhahaahaaaa...... *isk* *isk* *isk*...

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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sixth Sense?

I was out on errant with one of the colleague Friday morning. He was supposed to settle something in SS2, and I tagged along snaking.

Not too entirely sure what we were talking about in the car, but for sure we ended up forgotten to make the U-turn at the traffic-light. Well, it's an illegal U-turn, but that's what we and other occupant of the building where our office are doing. That's the shortest way out. It again proven that man can't multi task, we can only do one thing at any given time.

By the time we realized we had missed the U-turn, we decided to take another longer route and possibly the traffic could be heavy along this route. Just as we came out from Seputeh and converged with the main road near the, I noticed the traffic was heavy and moving along bumper to bumper.

We ought to switch to right or middle lane on that three lane road. The first left lane which we were on is the public bus and taxi lane. This is were things started to get pretty interesting.

Mana: "You are suppose to switch to the right lane."
Colleague: "Yes, but there are so many cars. It's okie one lar. It's alright to be on this lane."
Mana: "No, no, switch lane please. There could be police in front."

He turned on the right signal and as usual the cars on the right lane wasn't giving ways. I told him to slow down further and try to switch lane, and told there could be police in front at this hours of the day.

I hate it when people gives me instruction or unsolicited advice on what to do or not to do when I am driving. For that reason, I don't normally admonish do that to other people, even if they are breaking the rules. But I just couldn't helped it this time. My hunch was just too strong for me to ignore and even to break my own rule of not giving unsolicited advice. Within that few seconds period, I incessantly pestering him to switch lane. I was like kept switch lane, switch lane, switch lane... yada-yada-yada and he kept ignoring me.

Then just as we took a corner, there they were! This was one of the moments where I would be more glad to be wrong. He switched lane, but it's too late. The policemen already noticed the car and made signal for him to slowdown and moved to the side of the road. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I had a smile on my face, though and can't help but spurted out that golden mantra "Shit! See, I told you already!"

We stopped by the side of the road, and told the policeman we just came out from Seputeh and tried to switch lane, but unable to because the cars on the right lane wouldn't let us.

The policeman bought our explanation, and let us go. Both of us have a sigh of relief, got back on the road and head toward our destination. He said he guess the policeman bought our explanation probably due to the way he dress, a business shirt with cuff link, and also the car's right signal was actually on. I think I have to agree with him on that. Some people do judge you by the way you look.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?

AAB:
  • I don't know.
  • Tell me the truth.

AAB's Cabinet:
  • We will set up a panel to investigate if this video footage of chicken crossing the road is authentic.

Dr. Chua:
  • The chicken just so happen to be there and the road are also happen to be there.
  • I guess the chicken must be working too darn hard.


Nazri:
  • bodoh.. bodoh... bodoh...

Zam:
  • Where do you read that from? Blog? Goblok!
  • Pardon? Pardon? Pardon?... I can't hear you! I can't hear you! No we-we are! We... this chicken crossing is illegal! We don't want..this... the... NORMALLY... I don't, ya, you, Al-Chicken, this is, is Al-Chicken attitude. Right?

KJ:
  • The chicken is behaving like a beruk!

Bung Mokhtar:
  • I am sorry to "road which might have felt crossed” by my chicken.