Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I'm not drunk

Yeah, I am not drunk. I am just f*cking pissed drunk.

The day began unusually quite this morning. Well, actually that was after I lost my cools. The product development girl came to me to report a problem with one of our demo system. As I was busy with my own work, I asked her to get an assistant from one of my team member who was handling the system.

As usual, the guy was too cooperative, and leave her no choice but getting back to me. I summon the guy to my cubicle, and all I heard was excuses on why he can't help. I was bloody pissed, as this was not the first time I hear this kind of excuses. I never done this before! I have other urgent thing to do! I have ceaseless told them many times that, although the task is divided between members, it doesn't mean that you don't have to know what you other team members are doing. For one reason or another, it bound to happen that one of your colleague my be absent. I told them many many times, in this situation you will have to back your absent colleague up, and further the system is not developed in isolation. Each modules are interdependent. You gotta know what other modules is and how it behave.

Yet all I heard was, "I've never done this before!" This pissed me off and I lost my cools. I raised my voice and the whole room could hear and know that I was freaking pissed. "I had never seen even a single line of your codes and yet when the Vice President of Marketing was asking me to add a new feature which requires modification to your codes while you were on a boot camp at a nice resort island (which I decide to sent you), I completed the modification within half a day (and painstakingly going through your codes, and try not to bother you by giving you even a single call). You have been doing this thing for more than a year and you are telling me you (f*cking) don't know that part of system because other team member (who had since left) was handling it before this."

I was bloody sick of listening to this kind of excuses, "Fine! (F*ck the bloody off here) I will do it myself!" and I make blardy sure that the whole department can hear that. And for the whole morning, the department was unusually quite. Some of the team member was extra polite while chatting with me today , too :P

I was sure if my boss was walking passed the department when I was giving the jolly good lashing at my team member, but I suspect he was as in a short moment after that he was extra nice to me, and as much as he like to hide was sort of checking with me if everything was alright.

And the lady PM couldn't find a better moment to break a not so encouraging. "J told me he need to start a new task, and he have not complete to task in my project." I wasn't in the mood to be nice to anyone anymore, enough is enough. Looked at her and "What is the task still pending in your project?" Again I wasn't hiding the fact that I wasn't please at all with her complaint. I half expected, she wasn't even sure what she is talking about. "Errr... I am not sure... ." You are looking for trouble lady, "What?!!! You are the project manager and you wasn't even know what task is still pending" I raised my voice higher, so that the whole room can hear (on purpose, of course :P). "Go and check with him, and only once you know should you come back to me!" I would be ashamed if I was her, but I just don't have any courtesy left, blood was already boiling :P

Had two meetings/discussions in the afternoon with two separates teams, and doesn't hide my displeasure about their working attitude. First session was pretty short, yet manage to send my points across. Second session, dealing with some of the *sigh* "hardcore" member, I just let it out and spend like half and hour "lecturing" them and treats them like a primary school kids. No subtleties, all plain, blunt and straight to the point. Wasn't even care if they took it well (even as much as possible, my complaint was out of good wills).

Again, was the person who locked up the office. And on the way home, another manager was asking me to join him and few more colleagues for a drink. So I ended up consuming processed malt liquid for dinner. Wasn't aware that one of our important partner is in town for a certain event, and nobody told me, not even my boss who was there too. I attended another partner's event which happen to be this partner competitor few weeks back, and was given their company T-shirt. It lays in my car since then, and don't know what got to me last night, I decided to wear this shirt today. Not that the partner mentioned anything while we were entertaining them, but I guess this is a blunder on my part. Probably it's a good thing that they know we have alternative, so despite being a big brother they won't be too proud ;P

I lost count on how many glasses didn't gulp down, hoping a couple of bars. Yet, still sober enough to drive home write this stupid post.